E xistence » OMG, it’s September… what am I going to do?

OMG, it’s September… what am I going to do? September 1, 2006

Posted by AkumAPRIME in : Life , trackback

Originally uploaded by AkumAPRIME.

Well, it’s officially September 2006; my Birth month. As I approach a quarter of a century, I start to wonder… What the Hell am I DOING?

Then I freak out for a bit… in fact, one second, I need to freak out…

Pushups always help alleviate freakouts, anyway… Birthdays and milestones, such as New Years, tend to be times of personal reflection for us. This happens to be a time of Great personal reflection for myself, and despite the introspection and things I glean from it, I am filled with feelings of fear, frustration and failure. I won’t go into details on that. Once I get Past those, I am left with questions.

What do I want? How do I get it? Am I making the right choices? How would I know?

I want to go back to school, and I want to travel. I feel like I’ve found a nice synthesis of the two in applying for graduate studies internationally, thus satisfying both my cravings.

What happens if I don’t get accepted? Then I will continue to travel and fund my way by teaching in the various countries I’m visiting… and taking that time to figure out what to do next.

What about now? I read a lot, I’m on the computer a lot, I exercise a lot… I’m bored.. A LOT! It’s not that these things are boring. It’s just that I feel static, like I’m gaining no experience and thus no levels. The other day, my parents needed help at the office with some computer stuff they couldn’t deal with. I was able to go in, get the job done, and save them maybe $200 or so bucks. I felt useful. I also learned some things during the work.

I’m on Maslow’s 4th step and I need to figure out how to get to the doorway… Well, the way up is to study for this GRE and get some research hours in. These two things together will help lock me for the Universities I choose.

So that’s up to me. How well I focus past the computer, 1001 books, exercise, friends, women, dogs, family, food, movie, tv, comics, games and million other obstacles in my path… Well I guess we’ll know in 2 months…

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