E xistence » This is not anyone’s fault

This is not anyone’s fault January 8, 2006

Posted by AkumAPRIME in : Life , trackback

So don’t blame others and please Don’t blame yourself. I may be presumptuous in assuming anyone will do this at all, but it’s pretty common.

I have a disease, and I was/am? clever enough to plan all this out so no one would know.

Hell, I’m not even sure this is My fault. I believe that the universe, conforming to scientific principles, operates as a formula, in a sense… So the entire path of the universe, its entire history, is already written. It’s not that some greater power wrote it all out. It’s that… if you have a series of dominoes, no matter how complex you create the series, we know that knocking the first will cause the last to fall. There is no free will, and there was no other option.

What’s really sad is that I would’ve liked to have sat down and talked with many of my friends before I went. But because I know that some would try and stop me, I was/will be? unable. If I plan well, I may be able to speak to one or two and leave enough time to ensure my death.

In order to get around this, I am telling my friends that I’m leaving the country for a year to go backpacking. This allows me some small measure of good-bye.