E xistence » Previous Attempts. Obviously Failures

Previous Attempts. Obviously Failures November 28, 2006

Posted by AkumAPRIME in : Life , trackback

I think when I was 16 or 17, in a manic episode prior to a suicide attempt I shaved one eye brow off. I tried to explain it away to friends as a pre-halloween.. nonsense.. IDK.. something stupid and confusing enough to take their minds off the curiosity of the act itself.

I tried asphyxiating myself in the shower with plastic bags, to no avail. I hadn’t quite conditioned myself for anything like that yet. Even so, the length of time it takes to asphyxiate is so long… the “life urge” so strong… I couldn’t do it now if I wanted to.

I thought about slitting my wrists, but was worried about scars if I failed.

The next day, I took a Bunch of pills I found in my house somewhere. They were old, and at this point I didn’t really know that the efficacy of suicide by pill was so low. I hopped on the bus to go visit a friend, and near my stop I got Very nauseous and tossed right when I got off the bus. It probably looked strange to any passersby.

None of these worked, sadly. Better luck next time?