E xistence » How? The decision making process

How? The decision making process November 22, 2006

Posted by AkumAPRIME in : Life , trackback

How does one kill oneself? What do I need to consider?

First of all, this is/was (tense is hard to deal with in a suicide letter. Pardon me if I switch it around now and again.) NOT a cry for help. I want to die, so the 1st priority is making sure that, whatever method I choose, it is effective.
Secondly, the less pain I feel, the better.
Third, the less mess I make, the better.
Fourth, the Easier it is to DO the better.

Ok, a gun is Very effective, but could be painful, Very messy, and I think moderately difficult.

Drowning is pretty certain, I think painful, not messy, but HARD TO DO… jeez asphyxiation is difficult. I tried in High school, and failed. As a side note, I was never willing to try and slit my wrists because if I failed, I would be marked a failure forever. The public stigma against suicide is strong.

Pills are FAR from certain (that’s why women keep failing to kill themselves successfully. They keep trying this method) Since it fails priority 1, it’s out.

Cover myself in blood and jump in a shark orgy. Ok I’m kidding, c’mon.

N20 – Nitrous Oxide poisoning: Quite effective, Very painless, No mess, pretty easy

That’s why I chose it

Another side note: I read a Very interesting article about those high on thrill-seeking that are suicidal, as I am. The author hypothesized that the thrill seeking behavior is a way to train the brain and body to handle near death and highly dangerous experiences to prepare for that Final experience. After all, if you’ve already jumped out of a plane and off a mountain, just pulling that trigger becomes easier.